i wanted to call you
but i was dishonest
so lacking sanctuary
in the clear river of an infant democracy
i wrote poems about spain
clouds drawing dreams
and the multitude of invitations
to cry all morning long
the high spiderless panes of downtown sky
moved clouds across morning
and under the marquee of the theater
in a wind hinting rain in the eyes
my muddled reflection released me
let me move unencumbered by shadow to canaan
i am ok
if you need to know
somewhere traveling across your moonlit face
this astronaut you love glinting in the galaxy
somewhere where you don't admit it
small interstellar fire
you care love
i am just sad
but sadness is no sickness
no ripeness or shine
no moon leaning against the universe
not naples with beautiful boats in transit
it's just the condition of the world on tuesday
i loved you
like finding meaning in kenya
measuring myself in clay
rising from a month of prayer
fluent and citizen in mombasa
and dar es salaam
i was
i rose
i loved you in a new language
wandered a ripe continent healing people
my blackness declared at every border
new night following me across the mudstone country
the limpopo steering lumber through night
moon siren spilled on the river night
my new africa
its infant pan faced diplomats
their heartfelt constitutions
their hopeful words
your love making people believe
and the freedom the triumph we felt
as we passed into tanzania singing
where the people were voting
at the marrow of africa
the drone of your kiss in my chest
this year
the children are older
november was especially hard
because of their faces
all their faces like drops of oil
fingertip bright faces
you would be proud of the students
we send them
the starling
the children each cool morning
and some mornings
i could not see your face
and sat looking east back into memory
and was ashamed
i panicked
waiting for you to move from darkness
to call with your politics
to form against my ready mouth
yet with all the windows open
no you ever ever
no you ever no you
war blooms on the windows
like when we traveled at the edge of a monsoon
and caught the fringe rain
all the african sky behind us suddenly heavy coal
dark mozambique exhaling and flooding
threatening the caravan of peace workers
and the soldiers draped in plastic
who did everything at gunpoint
could be brought with american cigarettes
its like that here love
in this america i am trying to change
this arrogant bantu homeland
this sky i am trying to stay ahead of
the policemen with guns
we have missed the islamic sudan
and the women come wandering in somalia
covered appropriate cultural and lean
grinning like fruit
like so many young girls there come to learn
last year we planned to empower women there
your sisters needed you
and i was going with you on a slow egyptian freighter
it was to be our time between continents
drifting in blue love
informally without speeches
but that was to be last year
trekking through chad disguised as muslims
now the students are my africa
each an infant democracy
i tell them about you
this woman who came to me from an international urgency
they pronounce your name and smile
they are beautiful errors in the autumn sky
our little freedom fighters
i have taught them african freedom songs
i sing to you on the way home in swahili
though a hemisphere voices a million concerns between us
i see them each day on my commute
countless men and women who can toil no further
something is afoot here
each day a machine aches to a stop
each day a worker changes his mind
there will be freedom coming here too
our work will begin in watts
my fugitive
my secret flower
my love
